Who Stole My Zen?

Ahh, it’s been a minute since I’ve posted…again.  I just get so wrapped up in life and all of it’s melodramatic issues that I often forget to come and write about it.  It’s also easier to do it in 140 characters or less on Twitter…but whatever.  So here’s a brief synopsis of what’s been happening.

• Week before last, found out that our landlord hasn’t paid his mortgage the entire time we’ve been living in this house (since March 2009)
• The landlord also hasn’t paid his 2009 property taxes and is also behind in his HOA dues.
• All of these things are making foreclosure on this home imminent.
• We decided to move
• We also decided that we would not be paying November’s rent as eviction due to foreclosure would be happening at any time and we needed to be prepared with a new roof over our head.
• We got a three day notice on our door on Tuesday of this week. (Landlord is a fucking douchebag but the 3 day notice was expected)
• On Wednesday we looked at a beautiful town-home just 3 minutes up the road.  Both Joy and I fell in love with it!
• On Friday, we secured said town-home and we can start moving in as early as Monday evening!

It’s so crazy how everything happened so quickly yet all came together so smoothly and seamlessly at the end.  Now I just have to get my ass in gear and start packing things up.  I hate that part.  It makes me really cranky!  The Rookie keeps trying to give me packing tips and advice on moving.  He really doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.  I have moved so many times in my life that I could pack and unpack a UHaul in my sleep and never miss a step!    He also put a piece of bacon in my deep fryer last night.  Umm, my deep fryer is filled with Vegetable Oil.  I don’t eat pork.  I told him he was on for replacing the oil in the deep fryer today.

Last night was really fun.  Joy and I got invited to a Nintendo Wii Fit Plus Launch Party by a super cool blogger.   It was in a downtown studio (Orlando) and we did yoga and some other Wii Fit Plus games as well as had some great veggie snacks to eat and I had a glass of wine and a strawberry at the end of the evening.  Yum.    The best part was when we got to have our “Oprah” moment!  Nintendo gave each one of us a Nintendo Wii Fit Plus (balance board and game) and a super nice Wii Fit Plus jacket just like the trainers were wearing.  I guess I now have no excuse for not doing Yoga every day and getting my culo gorda in gear!

On that note, I’m off to go clean out my closet and finally get rid of those “fat clothes” once and for all!

Dear Santa

I NEED this!  Not just WANT, but NEED!

Okay?  I’ve been good decent this year.  I haven’t committed any crimes and I haven’t done anything immoral.  I haven’t committed any crimes.  I try to keep the bad words to a minimum and I’ve had no episodes of public drunkenness.  I save that fun for my friends because that’s just the kind of good friend that I am.  So please Santa?  Can I get on the “good girl list” just this once and then I’ll never bother you again.  Well, I won’t bother you for another 12 months.  Fair enough?

Love

ME!

So we went Trick-or-Treating on Saturday night.  We even took 2 extra kids along with us.  Five kids.  Three adults.  Well, really just two adults because The Rookie lagged behind and talked on his cell phone the entire time.  I wonder how painful surgical removal of a bluetooth from one’s asshole would be??….but I digress.  Anyway, it was a hassle getting five kids ready to go out.  It always is.  Hell, it’s a hassle getting myself ready in the morning just to take the kids to school.  Once you throw costumes in there, face paint/makeup, whining kids, the Rookie who is choosing our departure time as the time to start getting in the shower, well suffice to say, I was getting bitchy before we’d even left the house.  However, we did manage to leave.  As soon as we stepped outside, the humidity and heat hit us in the face like a big old bag of hot and stagnant air.  The mosquitoes had apparently been prepping for the evening by juicing up on steroids.  It was divine from the get-go.

We had knocked on approximately 3 doors when the three year old loudly announced “I want to go home NOWWWWWWWW!”  I assured her that she was having fun and that I didn’t have she didn’t have enough candy yet so we needed to give it just a little while longer before we through in the sweaty towel.  She wasn’t amused.  Her bitchiness was in full-swing.  I have NO idea where she gets that from!

We ended up roaming our sub-division for about 40 minutes or so before the mosquitoes and the heat got the best of us.  My sister and I scoped out the bags and determined that there were enough Milky Ways and Reeses to satisfy us the kids and we headed back to the homestead.  The three year old was stripped down to her Dora panties in record time and promptly got in a better mood.  UNTIL…she saw an adult rifle through her candy bag.   “YOU NOT EAT MY CANDY!!”  Apparently she never got the memo that adults that have to endure trick-or-treating and the prep of said activity have candy stealing rights.   We assured her that this was protocol and that she’d likely have to endure it until she was probably 11 or 12.  She wasn’t amused.  I soothed her inner savage beast with “Pink Milk” (Nestles Strawberry).  I’ll need to get her better educated and informed on Trick-or-Treating rules before next year!